


House Pride?

by ShimmeringIdiot



Series: Hogwarts AU [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Enemies to Friends, Hufflepuff, I promise, we'll get to the 'to lovers' part later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-07-27 13:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20047069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShimmeringIdiot/pseuds/ShimmeringIdiot
Summary: When Zira Fell and Anthony Crowley head to Hogwarts for their first year, they are expecting to be put in Gryffindor and Slytherin respectively, lest they face the wrath of their pure blooded parents. When this doesn't happen, tears and hijinks ensue, and maybe, just maybe, they may make a new friend who understands their struggle in the person they least expect.





	1. Platform 9 3/4

**Author's Note:**

> So this came from a post I saw about what would happen if both our ineffable husbands were put into houses that their families were against. I've planned out about a third of what I want to write and have written three chapters.
> 
> It's Un-Beta'ed so there may be some small mistakes, especially since I only write when I'm supposed to be sleeping :D
> 
> As a person who loves Good Omens more than I can say, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! Here's what I've made so far!

Standing in King’s Cross Station was surreal to eleven-year-old Zira Fell. His new shoes were uncomfortable, but they clinked on the stone floor in such a way that the sound echoed all across the station and was able to be heard even though the room was crowded. The cat on his cart made a small noise of protest as the boy sped up to keep pace with his father. His cat. Zira had gotten her as a present for his eleventh birthday alongside the shoes and his school supply trip to Diagon Alley. He’d named her Angel because despite her black fur she had a pair of white spots right along her back that he imagined wings could sprout forth. Zira nearly tripped as his father came to a stop at the brick pillar between Platforms Nine and Ten. 

“Zira, you can go first since it’ll be your first time on the Platform.” His father, Gabriel Fell said. He made a sweeping hand motion towards the pillar. Zira’s mother, Michaele Fell, tapped her husband’s arm and in a whisper told him to be careful that the Muggles don’t see him acting this way. Gabriel gave an exaggerated look around at the Muggles going on about their daily business. 

“Look Zira, my boy, it’s Platforms Nine and Ten! There are no hidden Platforms between here!” he said loudly. “Surely nothing would happen if you walked right into the wall here!” Many of the bypassers gave Gabriel weird looks as they passed by, but then again, many of them completely ignored him, so maybe he was onto something. The eleven-year-old got the hint of how to get onto the Platform. A train sped by on Zira’s left and one of his small blonde curls fell into his eye.

The boy took several quick steps towards the wall but as he got within arms reach, tried to stop himself from hitting it. Zira’s attempt to stop resulted in his right shoe colliding with the wheels of his cart, pushing it forward. This, in turn, pulled him through the wall and onto Platform Nine and Three Quarters. Angel yelped but stayed in the cart alongside his books. Zira breathed a great sigh of relief. (Maybe it was awe, how can we know?) The Platform around him was buzzing. He ducked as a flying book passed over his head and he nearly fell again as his parents stepped onto the platform behind him. A beautiful train was to his left and it had the words 'Hogwarts Express’ printed on the sides in golden paint. 

“Muggles,” Gabriel said. “So easy to fool!” He smiled slightly. Zira did as well. His dad’s outburst had seemed brave to him. Zira couldn’t imagine speaking in front of that many people so confidently. It seemed even more brave to the boy, who knew from making friends with Muggle children, that his dad’s words had been far more odd to them then reassuring. 

Zira’s mom leaned in close to him. “Look at my smart, brave little boy, getting onto the Platform without a worry! Be sure to remember not to hesitate, lest you end up in Hufflepuff.” 

“Hufflepuff?” said Gabriel, “Surely not our Zira! He’s loyal as any Hufflepuff and he’s smart as any Ravenclaw, but we both know he’s gonna end up in Gryffindor, just as his ancestors have been for generations!” The two parents smiled at him. 

“Mom, Dad?” Zira began quietly. “What if I don’t end up in Gryffindor? What if I’m not brave enough for it?” The boy looked anxious as he shuffled his hands together. 

“Well. You know you’re great uncle Raphael?” His dad asked. Zira didn’t know his great uncle Raphael so he shook his head. “He got put in Slytherin and now none of us talk to him.” Zira’s mind raced with fear that he’d be like his great uncle Raphael.

Michaele nodded to the boy. “What your father is trying to say is that Fells have been Gryffindors for centuries and you’ll live up to that reputation.” She paused as the train’s horn sounded. “Why don’t you get on? I’m pretty sure it’s going to leave soon!” 

And so Zira Fell got onto the Hogwarts Express with a bagful of books far too big for any eleven-year-old to hold, a small cat wrapped around his neck, and a pit in his stomach telling him that something was going to go wrong. Zira opened a window in the cart he was on and waved out to his parents on the ground below. 

“Bye!” Shouted his father.

“Don’t forget to avoid the Crowley boy!” his mother yelled. 

Zira closed the window the moment they left the station and sat down with a straight back and wide eyes on the train compartment bench. 

His parents had been telling him for months that he and ‘The Crowley Boy’ were going to be in the same year and that he’s better off avoiding him ‘until Zira learns some good countercurses’. Both parents were convinced the boy would be more than adept at the Dark Arts by age eleven, as expected of their opposing family. While Zira wasn’t able to spot the flaw in their logic (that this eleven-year-old boy was incapable of knowing the Dark Arts based on the fact that he doesn’t know any magic yet) he did have another argument with his parents on the topic.

“But what if he’s nice?” Zira had asked. 

“He most certainly won’t be nice!” his mother had snapped. This began an hour-long rant about how the Crowley’s were a good for nothing family and that the boy was not nice. 

The same topic came up again a week later.

“Maybe I’ll be able to befriend him!” Zira said this time. He thought by putting the responsibility to convert the boy into his own hands his parents just might agree that he has a chance. 

“He’s been training in the Dark Arts since he was six. If the poor boy still has a soul, it’s surely in pieces by now. There’s no way you’ll be able to get through to him.” His father had said. 

The same topic came up again and again throughout the summer leading up to Zira’s first year at Hogwarts. Soon he became tired of arguing for a boy he’d never even met and began to agree with his parents. 

Zira sat on the Hogwarts Express, alone, save for the company of the ginger boy who was sleeping on the chair opposite of him. He read one of the books he’d brought on board and bought hot cocoa from the cart when it came by. Zira got changed into his robes and packed up his stuff. Soon the train was in the station. 

Zira took a step onto the solid ground off of the train and was almost knocked over by the ginger kid from his cart. He had on one sleeve of his uniform on and was frantically trying to find something.

“Sorry!” Yelled the boy as he ran past. 

* * *

This very same morning had flown by for eleven-year-old Anthony J. Crowley. He was pushing a cart with an ornate cage carrying a long-eared owl in it. He’d gotten the owl from his parents for his eleventh birthday, and although his parents said the owl was named Snakeskin, (Because of the way the feathers gleamed like scales and the bird could eat snakes and the Crowley family crest and man it’s a terrible name but what else do you expect from Hastur la vista Crowley?) Anthony had secretly named the bird Centauri because it sounded cool to him and because it reminded him of the stars (So maybe the bad naming thing is genetic and Anthony Janthony Crowley’s also got the bad genes there). 

The Crowley boy had also been lectured about the simplicity of Muggles, which he had ignored by listening to the music pumping through a set of Muggle headphones he’d bought while in London. Irony was his strong suit, and since he’d told them that the headphones improved his hearing (which if they believed that they deserved the result), they didn’t realize that he hadn’t heard a word they’d said on the topic. 

He’d then been told that if he didn’t get into Slytherin he’d be out of the will and that the entire Crowley estate would go to his nine-year-old brother, Adam. He wasn’t worried about getting into Slytherin (The straightforward threats he was given were much less confusing than the ones that the Fell boy the Crowley family passed was getting, though Crowley wouldn’t know that). 

So Crowley got on the Hogwarts Express after hugging his brother Adam goodbye and slunk off to find an abandoned cart where he could catch some sleep because interacting with his family was exhausting. It took him thirty seconds to fall asleep. It took thirty more seconds for eleven-year-old Zira Fell to enter the same compartment without waking him. His mother Dagon had yelled at the train for him to avoid the Fell boy but Crowley was dead to the world and wouldn’t have heard them over his music anyway. 

When Crowley woke up again he woke up in an empty compartment of what seemed like an empty train and panicked. He wasn’t wearing his uniform yet, wasn’t sure where his stuff went and was halfway convinced that he’d been forgotten and was heading back to London and his family. Crowley didn’t like the feeling of being forgotten and wasn’t happy with the thought of having to return home, so he grabbed his uniform and slung one sleeve over his current outfit whilst running towards one of the many exits. If he almost pushed over one slightly chubby blonde boy on the way out then so be it. On second thought, he shouldn’t be so mean if he wanted to make friends here.

Crowley turned back and yelled at the boy. 

“Sorry!” he said, before continuing onward to the rest of the crowd.

Crowley found that his stuff was being taken up to the castle by the carriages and that he was not heading home, so he composed himself as best as he could and put the robe which had been hanging off of his arm on. He held his head high, he was a Crowley, after all. The boats were ready to take the first years across the lake and Crowley got into one with another boy who looked a bit nervous about the boat in front of him and a girl who stared across the lake with starry eyes. The light from the castle, which was getting closer by the second, reflected off of her glasses and made her look almost ethereal. 

Crowley looked up at the castle and tried to stop the excitement from entering into his mind. He was a Crowley, for someone' sake, and Crowley’s were always composed. He stretched out his legs a bit further and the nervous boy gave a nervous yelp as he got pushed around on the boat. The moon and stars were mirrored by the castle’s candles and the reflection across the lake water made it seem like four worlds were colliding instead of two. Crowley gave a good look at the castle that was to be his home for the next seven years. It looked a lot like his own house. The facade was foreboding. A shiver went up to the boy’s back. It looked cold to him. If the castle itself looked cold, he could only imagine how cold the dungeons would be. 


	2. The Sorting Hat, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hogwarts is a place of majestic beauty, but it is a bit scary and has a few more surprises than Crowley or Zira expected.

Zira was riding one of the boats across the lake. He found the ride calming, and the view of the castle was breathtaking. He tried to keep his calm, as Fell’s aren’t meant to show their feelings but fails miserably when he sees something move beneath the water. He leans over the edge of the boat and sees something that looked like a giant octopus. The book of magical creatures the boy had perused in Flourish and Blotts suggested that this would be a Kraken. 

“Great big beast,” Zira whispered under his breath, in awe of the beast. When the Kraken moved on, the boy looked back at the castle. Something about it reminded him of his own home, with great spirals and towers blooming off of the main building like petals. While it was gorgeous, Zira didn’t like it. 

Upon entering the castle, Zira looked up at the ceiling, which was far too high for someplace that was supposed to feel like home. The stone designs and suits of armor added to the feeling that this place was cold and heartless. Zira followed the woman at the front of the group of awed first years and, after looking at the ceiling once, preferred looking at the carpets beneath his feet. When the cabal of eleven-year-olds came to a halt, the woman tapped her wand on the wooden door in front of them. 

The woman was wearing an emerald dress and a pointed witch's hat. She had the most unnaturally red hair Crowley had ever seen, and that was saying something considering his own looks. 

“Attention! Attention! All eyes on me.” The chattering came to a stop and the whole group of students looked up at her. “Hello. I am Madame Tracy, Professor of Transfiguration and Head of Ravenclaw House. In a moment you all will be heading into the Great Hall, where all meals are held at Hogwarts. You will be sorted into one of four houses:

“Ravenclaw- The house that values intelligent witches and wizards. Some study hard and some don’t study at all, the house doesn’t value good grades, but rather how you apply your intelligence, Ravenclaws are known for discovering new potions and spells through flukes of curiosity, countless hours of study, or creativity. They accept others by learning about them and are always ready to try new things if only to say they’ve done it.

“Slytherin- This house values leadership and cunning. They are determined and set goals that are lofty because they really believe that they can reach them. Though many assume that they only worry about themselves, they worry about anything and anyone they consider a part of their identity. Slytherins have been known to protect their loved ones with all the fierceness and cunning of the snake that their house is represented by.

“Hufflepuff- Every house has stereotypes surrounding it but the Hufflepuffs have this worst of all. People think that they are weak pushovers, but this is not the case. They are hard-working, a trait that not just anyone has. Hufflepuffs are tolerant and loyal. They are fantastic at finding things, from a missing puzzle piece or the answer to a question that has been plaguing you for years. They are what grounds the other three houses in reality. 

“Gryffindor- Of all the houses this one is put in high regard because it values courage. Many assume that members of this house are inherently brave, but this is not the case. Gryffindors work hard to build up their courage in whatever way they can. They are reckless and foolhardy but come through in any way they can for a friend. Some may seem meek and mild, but beneath every one is the power of the lion. 

“No matter which house you end up in, your new house will cheer for you at their table and you will sit at that table. Your house will be your family during your time here and you will live with them. Each house is amazing, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Madame Tracy waved her wand at the students and a set of multicolored sparks sprayed on the kids. She then looked back towards the door and took a quick breath before opening the large wooden door and entering into the light that poured from it. Both Crowley and Fell took a similar breath before following behind into the blinding light. 

Zira decided that should the rest of the castle look similar to the Great Hall, he would be alright here. The ceiling showed a multitude of stars and the floating candles gave it a look that put the boy into a stupor. 

Yes, should the rest of the castle have this excellence he should enjoy it here indeed. The first year bumped into several of his classmates as he looked up. For a moment he forgot the hundreds of eyes on him and the rest of his classmates. 

Crowley could not muster the same enthusiasm about the ceiling, as he noticed that one star was in the wrong spot and was silently fuming at whoever it was that had changed that. 

Zira knew from reading  _ Hogwarts: A History _ that the ceiling was enchanted to show the night sky outside the castle and, therefore, there was no way this star was in the wrong place. 

Little did they know that both of them were wrong. There was a star in the wrong place, (It had been put there by a boy last year who went by the name Things Not Working Properly Even After You’ve Given Them A Good Thumping at the time, though apparently he now goes by People Covered In Fish.) but it was not the one Crowley was looking at. Then again, neither of them would have this conversation anytime soon as they still had a long way to go before they were close enough to discuss something as stupid and trivial without saying ‘forget about it’ when questioned. 

Soon the crowd of bumbling first years stood at the front of the room and stared at the shredded hat sitting on the stool. Behind that was the staff table. It was worth noting the Headmistress’s chair was empty. 

To be fair, She had better places to be. 

* * *

Neither boy heard Madame Tracy call the first name, or the second, or the third, and the deafening cheers of the crowd of older kids made Crowley want to curl up in a ball in the corner. It was time though. When Crowley heard his name called the room went silent minus the loud sneeze of the blonde-haired boy he’d knocked over earlier. Crowley tried to swagger up there and look as collected as he wished he’d felt. He could smell the sweat that had beaded on the back of his neck and when he turned towards the crowd and the Sorting Hat was placed on his head he could hear the beating of his heart pounding in his ears. 

_ “Ahhhhhh, I did think it was nearly time for another Crowley. Shame I know you’re like the rest of your lot. With that being the case, I guess it’s obvious where to put yo-wait. Looking past the calm exterior- You really are something different from your family. Interesting.” _

Crowley was confused for a second.  _ “Surely I’m a Slytherin.”  _

_ “You say that, but years and years of doing this gives me a different perspective. While it is true you have the potential to be like them, you certainly aren’t now.  _

_ “I’m a Slytherin. I’m not loyal, or brave, or smart.” _

_ “You grossly misunderstood the Houses if you think that’s what makes you one house over the other, Crowley. You certainly have values that are higher on your list than your own desire for power.”  _

_ “Well, I choose Slytherin. I’m not brave or loyal or particularly smart but I am cunning. What else could I be?”  _ Crowley was sure there was no other option for him. 

_ “No eleven year old is truly one house Crowley. Everyone is a mixture, I just pick the one that I think people will fall back on when everything goes wrong.” _

Crowley was getting frustrated by this. “ _ I AM a Slytherin. I am cunning and quick-witted. I hate Gryffindors with a passion and there is no other place that suits me.” _

_ You may hate me for this, but I have made a different decision. Enjoy your new family, it’s certainly better than your old one.” _

_ “You can’t make me become something else, what will my family think? How do you expect me to accept-”  _

_ “Goodbye Anthony, I hope you’ll see one day that my decision was a good one.”  _

“HUFFLEPUFF!” The Sorting Hat bellowed. The room was silent for a moment. The crowd of half-bloods and muggleborns had no idea how momentous an occasion they had just witnessed so they began cheering. Of the pureblood students, all were stunned by this development and it took them several seconds to join in the cheers. 

Crowley’s shoes felt like they were weighed down by bricks. Madame Tracy took the hat off of his head. He sat there until the next girl got right in front of him. Crowley followed the cheers to the table with a yellow banner above it and, although he looked as calm as he had to go to the front, he was a mess inside. How the  _ hell _ was he going to explain this to his parents?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! First of all, Happy Spiderman Day!!!! 
> 
> As I established Madame Tracy as the Tranfiguration professor and plan on making MANY of the other side characters in Good Omens professors, I need some background characters, so if you want to be one or create one on your own in the comments below. All that's really necessary is a Name, House, and Gender, but these extra things would be pretty awesome!
> 
> Character info (As I said above I only need Name, house, and Gender the others are extras)
> 
> Name  
Gender  
House  
Pureblood, Halfblood, or Muggle-born?  
Favorite class at Hogwarts  
Basic description  
Crowley or Aziraphale?  
Cat, Owl, Toad?  
Basic personality


	3. The Sorting Hat, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unexpectedly, Zira isn't a Gryffindor and Crowley's finding the Hufflepuff dorm to be much better than he imagined.

Zira had sneezed when the red-headed boy’s name was called. When the boy swaggered up to the hat Zira wasn’t sure what to make of him. The hat seemed to ponder the boy’s fate for a couple of seconds before shouting out Hufflepuff. As the boy swaggered off of the stool towards the yellow banner in front of the Hufflepuff table his hands shook. He was putting on a front for some reason, something Zira understood very well. After being hugged by a couple of Hufflepuffs he’d ran off out of the Great Hall. Zira hoped the boy was alright. 

A couple more names were called, including a small girl with dark hair and big eyes named Anathema. She was put in Ravenclaw. 

“Zira Fell.” Finally, it was Zira’s turn. His stomach clenched. 

As he walked to the front of the room he felt all the eyes in the room on his back. A chill went down his spine and his hairs stood on end. The hat was placed on his head and Zira took a calming breath. 

_ “Interesting. A Crowley and a Fell in one day. I must say you’ve both been different than I expected. Both of your families are surprisingly similar throughout the ages, but you two are something different than your ancestors.” _

_ “Excuse me but did you say that our families are similar? That can’t be right. We Fells are Gryffindors and the Crowleys are Slytherin. The houses that are opposites at their core, if I understand them at all.” _

The Sorting Hat made a noise equivalent to a snort.  _ “You truly believe that Slytherin and Gryffindor are so different and that your families are opposed as every Crowley and Fell do but you’re so far from the truth. Gryffindors and Slytherins may seem like the opposite sides of a coin when in reality they complement each other. Both drive the other to higher heights.” _

Zira was inclined to believe the hat that had been doing this for centuries, but it made him uneasy.  _ “So where does this put me?” _

_ “I’d say it was a difficult choice but in reality, it’s very clear. You’re going to find that you and that Crowley boy aren’t that different after all with some guidance here. Maybe you can teach him that too.” _

“HUFFLEPUFF!” The hat bellowed. Once again the purebloods went silent as the half and muggle-borns immediately clapped. It took the purebloods a couple of seconds to join in. A boy who went by the name Cruelty to Animals decided that he thought the pair would make a good couple. A pair of enemy families who put too much pressure on the boys to be in their respective families' houses. The pair end up in Hufflepuff together. Not many knew it, but deep down, Cruelty to Animals was a romantic. 

From the Ravenclaw table, a pale boy with jet black hair took note of the pair. He was only a year older than the boys were themselves but he could feel the stirrings of something big. This would certainly upset the pureblood world in ways the boy could only imagine. He turned to look towards the Hufflepuff table to one of his good friends. They were short, with white hair and had the whitest irises the boy had ever seen. They looked back at the Ravenclaw with shock written all over their face.  _ Well, _ the Ravenclaw boy thought,  _ I certainly will have to keep an eye on the Hufflepuff pair, or maybe I can get Pollution to do it for me. _

While Zira walked to the house with the yellow banner over it he was internally frozen in fear.  _ How can I explain this to mother and father?  _ His thoughts raced. He sat down at the table and was immediately smothered by four of his new housemates who wanted hugs. 

After the last name was called, an older man stood up to the podium in front of the teacher’s table. 

“Hello, one and all, to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am Metatron, the History of Magic teacher here at the school. The Headmistress is out on important business but I’m sure you’ll see Her at some point or another,” At this, Zira heard a girl on his right say “Not bloody likely. I’ve been here for four years and still haven’t seen Her”. The older man at the front of the room continued. “Now I know many of you are quite hungry from your travels, so I’ll keep it short. I’m sure all of you know that there is no place safer than Hogwarts. It is for this reason that I ask that all students stay out of the Forbidden Forest unless they are with a responsible teacher. I also ask that students remember to keep spellcasting in the hallway to a minimal. That will be all. Once again, welcome to Hogwarts!” Metatron spread his arms out and a feast fit for kings appeared on the tables around them. 

Zira couldn’t have stopped eating that night if he’d tried. There were two reasons for this. The first was that the food was fantastic. The second was that he is a stress eater. 

* * *

Crowley caught up with the group heading towards the Hufflepuff dorms. He tried to look nonchalant, but in all honesty, his eyes were still red from crying in the bathroom. Crowley followed the group. They went up two of the moving staircases in one of the towers and down another set in a closed-off hallway before finally coming to a stop in front of a painting of barrels. The prefect looked at the first years and told them how to get into the common rooms. 

“So, what you have to do,” She began. “Is tap this barrel-come in close, you all need to see-twice. Then you tap this one, then this one, then that one. I’ll show you which ones again. So first you press this one twice. Follow that with this one, this one, and that one, in that order! Now which one of you know who founded the Hufflepuff house?” Three raised their hands. The prefect looked at them. “You- the one with the brown hair and glasses.” 

“Well, didn’t Hufflepuff do that?” The boy asked. He looked surprised to be called on and confused. A couple of the kids snickered. 

“Yes but we’re looking for a first name. How ‘bout you. Blonde curly hair.”

“Helga Hufflepuff.” The boy said. 

“Well done! Helga Hufflepuff founded our house along with Salazar Slytherin, Godric Gryffindor, and Rowena Ravenclaw back in 990 A.D. Take ten points to Hufflepuff. First points of the year, unless the Slytherin prefects have been filling their coffers already. To those of you who don’t know, Hogwarts has a house competition yearly. The houses compete to see which one has the most points at the end of the year. Points are given on teachers’ discretion and taken on teachers’ discretion, so be good! Slytherin won last year and we were second. Let’s not let them win again. So back to the barrels. Anyone remember which order we press them in?” All the first years raised their hands except Crowley. He remembered, he just wasn’t a teacher’s pet. He also didn’t want to get any points for the house he was transferring out of. The hat would realize it’d been wrong about him sooner or later and Crowley would be heading to Slytherin house instead, he was sure of it. 

“Right so we press them in that order. We also press them to a specific rhythm. We press them like this. Hel-ga… Huff-le-puff!” As the girl pressed the last barrel the painting disappeared to let the mass of first-years through. 

As Crowley passed through the painting he wished this was his new home. From what he heard, Slytherins lived in the dungeons. This room was as far from the dungeons as possible. The room was cozy looking, with comfy chairs and warm fireplaces. It had a whimsical feeling to it though. Several plants were growing throughout the common room, including a vine that covered the ceiling and the chandelier. It had blue blooms all over it and Crowley thought it was beautiful. Several bookshelves were lining the walls, and some had plans in pots as decorations among the books. 

The floor was carpeted and surprisingly neat for all the plants in the room. Because of the plants, there were several watering cans littered around the room, along with hoses and a couple of small fountains. There were two sets of stairs leading into what Crowley could only assume were the dorms, but there were also two side rooms off of the main common room that had glass ceilings and walls, like greenhouses. There were several older Hufflepuffs sprawled out on chairs in those rooms, reading. It honestly looked quite comfortable, which was not a thought Crowley expected to have, and he imagined that the room practically sparkled in the daylight. The prefect led the group to the stairs. 

“Now I need to leave you all here.” She said. “On the left are the boys’ dorms and the right are the girls’ dorms. Your names are on the doors to your room, along with your two roommates. Your stuff is already there, you just need to unpack!” 

The group split at that, and Crowley made his way up the boy’s staircase without being squashed by the other boys. He then took a quick look around the cozy hallway surrounding him. The floor was, once again, carpeted, and warm light entered the hallway from the torches lining the hallway. Each door was wooden, and Crowley walked down the hallway, he looked for his room. It seemed that the closer you were to the staircase, the older you were, as none of the doors closest to the staircases had names on them. As Crowley walked further down the hall, he saw a couple of first years peering out the small lounge that was in the center of the intersection of the hallway. Here the roof was glass, similar to the side rooms hanging off of the common room, and it had a brilliant view of the stars above the castle. Crowley’s breath was taken away for a second. 

The boy next to him yawned and stretched out his arms above his head. Crowley felt himself following suit. At that moment Crowley decided he was going to head to his room and go to sleep. He had a long day ahead of him tomorrow, trying to figure out how to transfer to Slytherin and where his classes will start in a couple of days and he sorely needed his rest. 

Crowley continued down the hallway, his feet a little bit heavier than they had been when he’d entered the Hufflepuff common room. Near the end of the hallway were four rooms that all had three names on them. The names were floating in front of the doors and sparkled. Crowley entered his, noting that his roommates’ names were Newt and Zira. 

When he entered, neither of his roommates were in the room yet. His luggage was by the foot of one of the three beds in the room and Crowley began to unpack. First things first were his sheets and pillows, which he promptly added to his bed. Much to the chagrin of his parents, Crowley enjoyed a good nap and, because of it, had many comfortable pillows, blankets, and sheets, that made the experience more pleasant. The second thing the boy unpacked were his clothes. The school may make the students wear robes to classes, but on weekends, clothing of other sorts was allowed, though many didn’t choose that option. He unpacked the pajamas, which he wanted to change into. Soon his clothing was put away in the drawers on the far side of the room. He unpacked several other things, including his textbooks, school supplies, and a couple of muggle toys that he’d brought.

Of these toys and gadgets, Crowley enjoyed his headphones and phone the most. Those went to his bedside immediately, along with the charger that came with the phone. The second was a Rubik's cube. Crowley wasn’t any good at it, but he enjoyed it nonetheless. The third thing from his bag was a set of spy toys. They were cheap and fake, as Crowley well knew, but the boy also knew that the invisible ink was not something that could be seen using a spell unless someone  _ knew  _ they needed UV light, which was unlikely in a group of young children who were here to learn magic, and not science (He’d learned this when talking with a muggle-born witch in the shop he’d bought it in). From the case also came a vial of fingerprint dusting powder, which he planned to use at some point. Finally, the last thing from the bag of gadgets was a case of silly putty. Crowley liked messing with it and it calmed him down when he was stressed, so he thought to bring it. 

The final thing Crowley wasn’t able to unpack, but he had, was his owl, Centauri. He had been hooting in his cage the whole time Crowley had been unpacking so Crowley gave him one of the treats to calm him down. Crowley concluded that he’d have to take Centauri down to the owlery in the morning. 

It was at this moment that a cat jumped right into his lap and curled up. Every one of his instincts screamed at him because he hadn’t noticed the little black cat, and honestly, it’d scared him. He wondered whether the thing belonged to either of his roommates or if it had just wandered in. Idly, he patted down the cat’s fur and it let out a soft purr. 

It was at this moment that the door opened and in walked the blonde boy from the Hogwarts Express. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay!   
Sorry about all the changes to the last chapter, idk if you got emails about that but I kept noticing that I hadn’t named the chapter and a small mistake or two. I shouldn’t do that this time so don’t worry about it!
> 
> So, I found the original post that inspired this fic, and since the cat’s finally out of the bag that both of them are going to be in Hufflepuff, I can actually share it without spoiling something most of you already guessed anyway. 
> 
> The post is from tumblr originally, but I found it on Instagram. It was posted by @cheeseanonioncrisps on tumblr and it says:   
“Good Omens Harry Potter au where Crowley and Aziraphale are two Hogwarts students from old pureblood lines where everyone has been in Slytherin/Gryffindor respectively for generations, who bond over their shared desire to prevent their families from finding out that they were actually both sorted into Hufflepuff.”
> 
> Thank you all for the character submissions, although I am noticing a suspicious lack of Gryffindors for some reason... Maybe the Sorting Hat this year is sick of them XD! I need to clarify one thing though in that matter. I want these characters as background characters who will probably only say one or two sentences because, of course, this is a fanfic about Good Omens. I have all that you wrote about your characters though, so there may be some space for some of the backstories some of you added later on, idk since I haven't written it yet!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I post on Tuesdays every week and Thursdays whenever I have extra chapters!


	4. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Zira meet their roommates for the first time, An age old nickname is established for the first time, and owls are jerks as always.

Seeing the ginger boy on the floor holding Angel surprised Zira. At that moment he looked calm and soft, petting the cat’s fur while she purred. Earlier in the train, he’d looked much the same and Zira could easily imagine being good friends with him, even though the boy seemed to swagger around like he was the coolest person ever. Zira wasn’t particularly fond of egos, but seeing the way his fist had shook after being sorted, and this softer interaction with Angel, Zira was sure that his attitude was born of something other than ego. 

Zira stood there for a second as the ginger boy turned around and noticed him. In the instant that his face met Zira’s, it hardened into a mask of disinterest. Angel was forcefully removed from her resting spot as the boy stood up to walk over to Zira. He moved gracefully and Zira tilted his head upwards a smidge to look at him eye to eye. 

The two stared at each other for a moment, not realizing this would be the most important introduction of their life. The moment seemed to linger, and Zira decided that it was time to break it, so he stuck out his right hand and introduced himself. 

“I’m- Angel!” Behind the ginger boy, Angel had managed to get her claws out and was trying to wreak havoc on one of the bedposts. Zira went and shooed her away from the bedposts. The ginger boy saw the cat but when he turned back to Zira, he looked like a cat who got the cream. 

“You said your name was angel?” The boy smiled at Zira. Zira huffed out an exasperated breath. 

“My name is not angel, it’s Zira Fe- My name is Zira.” Zira decided that if he was going to transfer to Gryffindor somehow that he’d be better off taking a fake last name, or better yet, only going by his first name. 

“No your name is angel, you just said it a moment ago.” His eyes betrayed his humor.

“Angel is my cat, as you’ve very well guessed. I’m Zira.” 

“What did you say, angel?” 

Zira decided that there was no way he was going to change the boy’s mind so he moved on. “Can I ask for your name, or am I expected to switch right to ridiculous nicknames with you too?” Zira considered for a moment what kind of nickname would fit the boy. 

“I’d love to hear what you can come up with. My name’s Anthony.” The pair finally shook hands and Zira smiled at him. Zira heard a hooting noise and noticed the owl in the cage behind Anthony. It had two long horn-like appendages out the top of its head and was brown with black spots. Anthony turned to look at the owl, which Zira assumed was his. 

“Oh, stop it Centauri. I’ll get you down to the Owlery tomorrow.” Anthony tried to calm the owl down but he continued to hoot. “Come off it you idiot. I know you just want more treats so please stop it.” The hooting got louder. “Ngk.” Anthony ran his hands through his short red hair and flopped down onto his bed. When Anthony hit his bed he reached out to grab the pair of headphones and phone from his nightstand. 

Zira was utterly shocked at how little purebloods know of the muggle world, so he imagined that Anthony was a half-blood or muggle-born, and considering how unfazed he was, Zira was betting on the first one. He’d learned so much from the few friends he’d made when he and his parents lived in downtown London for a year all about muggles. His father was still ignorant of them and their culture. 

A loud knock came from the doorway, which was followed by the stumbling entrance of another boy. His glasses clattered to the floor and his brown hair was a mess. The boy picked up his glasses and turned to Zira. 

“Hi, I’m Newt. I think that we’re going to be roommates this year?” His voice sounded like it was more of a question than a statement. 

“I’m Zira.” The pair shook hands and Newt swerved around at the hooting of Centauri. It took him a second to look at anything other than the bird until he noticed Anthony on the bed. Anthony’s eyes were closed and his foot was tapping to the beat of whatever song he was listening to. Newt’s eyes widened again for some reason. 

“Oh, yeah that’s Anthony, our other roommate. We should probably get our stuff unpacked.” Zira said. 

“Okay. Do you know when classes start? I’m going to need to get used to the staircases before attempting to get to classes.” Newt asked. 

“I know we’re not allowed out of our common rooms after ten o’clock at night and that we can start wandering the castle at six o’clock. Classes don’t start until Monday, and since tomorrow’s Friday we have three days to figure out where classes are and our way around the castle before they start.” Zira had looked at the schedule for similar reasons. This place was pretty big, and he didn’t want to get lost on the first day. 

“Just so you know, I’m from a muggle family, so I’m going to ask a ton of random questions about the wizarding world in the next couple months. If I’m bothering you too much, just let me know.” Newt said. His ears were tinged red at the tips. Zira decided he was going to become Newt’s wizardly godparent.

“Don’t worry about it! Any questions you have just ask! Would you like to figure out where our classes are together?” Zira was happy to have someone he could look around the castle with. Newt visibly deflated. 

“That sounds great actually.”

“Okay! Anthony, would you like to go with us so we can find the Owlery for Centauri?” Zira asked politely. Anthony didn’t seem to hear him. Zira decided to ask him in the morning. 

Newt and Zira began unpacking in silence. Zira was sure that looking around the castle with Newt would be a great idea, but Zira was looking forward to finding the library. Maybe there would be a way to switch houses in one of the books on Hogwarts there. 

* * *

Crowley fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow and his music began. Throughout the night he was periodically woken by the loud hooting of Centauri, which soon began to fuze with his dreams. When he awoke the next morning he couldn’t go back to sleep. There were two human-shaped lumps in the other two beds in the room. Crowley noticed his other roommate for the first time and recognized him as one of the other people from his boat over to the castle. Crowley got dressed up and checked the time, 6:30, and grabbed Centauri’s cage. He needed to find the owlery so that he would be able to sleep in tomorrow. 

The walk to the outside of the castle was long and gave Crowley a chance to think. Priority one, switch to Slytherin. Crowley had a couple of ideas about how to do that. He was planning on asking a teacher or two in the hopes they’d be able to help him. If not, he’d wait until the Headmistress came back to Hogwarts and ask Her personally. No big deal. It’s not like his parents will ask what house he got into in their first letter. He’d be in Slytherin before they knew that he was put in Hufflepuff first. 

Priority two, keep Zira from finding out he’s a Crowley. Crowley wasn’t an idiot and knew that Zira was a Fell. He’d heard mutterings of how both a Crowley and a Fell were put in Hufflepuff this year, and Zira covered his last name poorly. When Zira made that mistake, Crowley was sure to use only his first name. He didn’t dislike Zira per se, he was just cautious of him. His family had made sure to tell him to avoid ‘The Fell’ until he mastered some curses, but Crowley couldn’t see any reason to. All he was worried about was whatever the Fells had told Zira about Crowleys. They were both young, and here to learn magic so it seemed unlikely that he would be an enemy, but Crowley was nervous about what would happen if Zira learned who he was. The roommate situation would become awkward quickly if that was the case and Crowley didn’t want to learn to put protective over himself before he went to bed at night. 

Crowley reached an exit towards the owlery and began his walk up the bridging walkway. 

“Oh shut it you pest! Can’t you wait three more minutes so for breakfast? We’re almost there and I don’t need any of the sass you’re giving me right now.” The voice was from right behind Crowley, and when he turned around he saw a girl. It was the girl from his boat ride last night. She had long brown hair, wore glasses, and a very prominent blue tie in her robes. She was holding a snowy owl, who seemed to be quite irritated. After seeing her, Crowley slowed down his walking speed so that she could catch up to him. He was almost right beside her when he began a conversation. 

“It seems like we both have pesky owls don’t we?”

“Yeah, we do.” She glared at the bird on her arm. “This idiot wants breakfast, but doesn’t seem to realize that I don’t have anything for her.” 

“My dumb owl spent all night complaining at me and I could barely sleep so I think I have your annoying owl story beat.” The girl finally seemed to notice him. Her eyes narrowed.   
“I doubt it. I’ve had Prophecy for a year and a half now and she’s one of the dumbest owls in England. I’m Anathema Device.” Her voice betrayed that she was pretty impressed by how dumb Centauri was. 

“I’m Anthony.” 

“Nice to meet you, Anthony.” The two walked in silence for a minute as Prophecy pecked at Anathema’s hands, looking for food. They reached the Owlery and Crowley was glad to be rid of Centauri at the moment. Crowley walked back to Hogwarts with Anathema in the brisk morning air. 

“So you’re saying you can see auras?” Crowley asked. He was intrigued. He’d never met someone who could do that yet and was curious about what he could learn about it. 

“Yeah. Everyone has a slightly different color, but it’s more about how I feel when I look hard at the colors around them. People with blue auras are generally calm, but some of them I can tell are calm because they have faith in themselves and some are calm because they don’t care what others think of them. Plus some people’s auras change over time. It’s all fascinating, but it’s not exactly down to a science, so they don’t teach much about it in school from what I heard from my mom.” 

“You could use that in so many ways though. You’d be able to tell how people feel, it’s probably really easy to tell when someone’s lying to you. What does my aura look like?” Crowley asked. 

“Your aura is red. It seems like your anxious about something big, but that’s hidden underneath all the excitement you are feeling, I’m gonna guess at being at Hogwarts. Those are only basic emotions though. I can’t do much more than that without knowing more about you as a person or seeing you often.” They entered the Great Hall for breakfast. Some students were already at the Hufflepuff table, and Crowley saw Zira and his other roommate. 

“Hey what do their auras look like?” Crowley asked. He pointed at the pair of his roommates, who were too busy in their conversation to notice him pointing from across the room. 

“Well, the brown-haired boy has a yellow aura. He seems nervous and confused. I’d take that and his excited looks at the floating candles to mean he’s a muggle-born student. The blonde seems happy and content, but underneath that is a panic that seems to be a big part of him. His aura is light purple.” Anathema finished. 

“That’s- Cool.” Crowley looked over at her with a small smile. They headed to their tables for breakfast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now our lovable idiots have met for the first time!!! Also, Crowley knows Zira's a Fell, but Zira doesn't know Anthony's a Crowley. I wonder what shenanigans that could cause ;)
> 
> I actually looked up a long horned owl call to make sure hooting was the right word for what they do. It really is. Carry on. 
> 
> As for character requests, I'm leaving them open for now, but be warned, the wait may be long before they're added. Sorry about that.


	5. First Classes of Many

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zira, Crowley, and Newt head to their first classes at Hogwarts. What's the Charms Professor like? Who's the Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher?

The few days leading up to classes were spent wandering the hallways. Zira now had a good idea where everything in the castle was, but found that the paths to and from the places varied at any given moment. Changing staircases happened to be the least of his and Newt’s problems. There were vanishing hallways and secret passages that only opened on Fridays. Even the doorways into the classes were a bit tetchy. Zira had to bribe one of the doors open with some snacks, though what the door would do with food was still a mystery to him. 

On the subject of mysteries, Zira wondered what was up with his other roommate, Anthony. He had muggle objects and possessions but spoke using pureblooded slang. Anthony joined Newt and Zira for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but he seemed to be more interested in people-watching than actually joining in on the conversation. Anthony only seemed to be interested when Zira and Newt talked about their families. Zira made sure to keep his descriptions fairly vague since he didn’t want to advertise that currently, he’s the family black sheep even if his parents don’t know it yet. Anthony also disappeared right after dinner and didn’t show up in the dorm until curfew was almost upon them. His only friend seemed to be a girl in Ravenclaw. He spent his time outside in the morning, watching his owl fly across the sky with hers. 

Finally, the first day of class arrived and the three Hufflepuff boys agreed to walk together to their first class at Hogwarts. This class was a Charms class with the Head of Slytherin house. 

“I’m excited about this class,” Zira said. “Charms is such an interesting subject and you can do so many useful things with them! I wonder what we’ll learn first?” 

“Maybe we’ll learn some that can help us with computers!” Newt said. Newt was terrible with computers, according to him, but since Zira knew next to nothing about computers, he found it unlikely that Hogwarts would teach them about them. 

“Hopefully we’ll learn that’ll make you both stop talking,” Anthony muttered under his breath. Zira heard him but paid no mind to the insult. Another thing he’d learned about Anthony in the past couple of days was that the boy was always tired in the morning and that usually leads to grumpiness. 

The trio went up one of the changing staircases against a horde of second years who were excitedly talking about their potions class. Paintings made sure to give greetings to every student and the staircase moved beneath their feet. 

“Great,” said Anthony. “There’s no way we’ll get to class on time now that the stairs are taking us off course.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll be able to make it anyway,” Zira said, reassuringly. They walked through three hallways before Zira noticed one that would take them back on track. Thinking about the hallways made Zira wonder what was kept in all the extra rooms. With only twelve classes, surely there wasn’t any need for all the extra rooms in the school? 

The group walked through two more hallways and finally reached the end where three knocks in rapid succession opened the door. The door opened dramatically and all three boys, although one may deny it, looked through the doorway in a mixture of excitement and awe. 

The classroom was quite average, for Hogwarts. It had a high, lofted archway as the ceiling. Several benches were looking over a lowered central area. 

On the benches were a couple of students, Hufflepuff first years. They were early like the trio that was just entering the classroom, but they weren’t talking to one another. They too were staring at the center of the classroom.

In front of it all, there was a woman, sitting back in a chair. Behind her, the chalk seemed to be writing things on its own. It wouldn’t have been very incredible if it wasn’t for the fact that the woman seemed to be controlling the chalk and eraser with her mind. 

She sat with her back to the chalkboard, tea in hand, eyes closed. 

Zira, Newt, and Anthony shuffled off to the side so that they could sit down at one of the benches. There were two sets of parchment and quills at each bench, so when Zira and Newt sat down next to each other Anthony was forced to move to one of the benches behind them. 

Zira watched the board closely. The chalk was changing color based on word emphasis. The reason Zira thought she was controlling it with her mind was the little slip-ups. Every once in a while an extra word or two that were off-topic were written and subsequently erased. Soon the chalk reached the bottom of the board, which was still ten or so feet away from the floor. 

The chalk and eraser fell from the board suddenly. 

All at once three things happened. The woman opened her eyes, set down her tea, and caught the chalk and eraser. In turn, she placed those down next to her tea.

With her finally standing, Zira was able to get a better look at her face. The woman had dark skin, with matching dark eyes. Her hair was short and black. What made her face so unique looking was the set of gold flecks that ran across her face in waves. 

She looked up at the crowd of first-year Hufflepuffs slowly. 

“Fourteen.” She said. “Fourteen Hufflepuffs out of twenty made it on time to the first class of the year.” 

Zira wasn’t sure how to respond to this. She had to be disappointed. Surely she’d understand that it was difficult to make it to the classes when you were just learning to navigate the school. 

She smiled. “That’s three more than made it on time to the first class last year. Well done. Fifteen points to Hufflepuff.” Zira let out a short sigh of relief. 

“Hello class and welcome to your first class at Hogwarts. I’m Professor Uriel. I teach charms here. Many young witches and wizards scoff at charms and only see them as a convenience and nothing more and while it is true, that in this class you will learn all sorts of charms that will help make your lives easier, these same spells can be used in a variety of ways. They can be used to greater effect than the sharpest sword and can, and will, save your life in many ways. 

With this in mind, don’t scoff at the first spell you learn in this class. That spell is the softening charm. While many don’t see a purpose in it, I’ve personally fallen off of a broomstick while flying alone and only survived by sending this spell towards the ground.

Before we cast this spell though, take out your wands and watch me.” 

Zira hurried to grab his wand. 

By the end of the class, Zira could successfully cast Spongify, though he found that whatever he tried to make soft, generally had a few lumps in it. According to Professor Uriel, with some more practice, he could fix that. 

* * *

There was a break between Charms and lunch so Crowley stayed in the Charms classroom. He hoped to ask Professor Uriel about switching to Slytherin. The class had been amazing, and Crowley thought that Professor Uriel was awesome. Even though Crowley didn’t think Spongify was the most impressive spell, he was proud to have been one of the first in the room to cast it successfully. Professor Uriel had commanded the room effortlessly, and Crowley thought that was impressive, considering that his class was a bumbling mess. One of those messes was Newt Pulsifer. 

At first, newt had easily been able to master the way to wave his wand, but when he began to say the incantation, he’d began stuttering. This caused multiple small explosions. At one point there were even fireworks that came out of his wand. Zira had the patience of a saint when dealing with Newt, even if his blonde hair had been singed by the explosions. 

Newt hadn’t been able to cast Spongify by the end of the period but had been reassured by the Professor, who had said that most muggle-born students had trouble casting it on the first day. Half and Purebloods were used to seeing others cast spells but most muggle-borns had seen so little magic that they were usually unable to either get the movement right or say the words properly. 

Professor Uriel may have said that, but Crowley understood two things about her from the way she dealt with Newt from here on out. First of all, Crowley had read and seen several studies posted in  _ The Daily Prophet _ that said that most muggle-borns were equal in the classroom as purebloods, even from day one at school. This meant that Professor Uriel was a bit of a blood purist. Secondly, she grew visibly more frustrated with Newt the more that he failed to cast the correct spell. This meant that she had a short temper. 

When Crowley asked Professor Uriel about changing houses he tried to be subtle. He’d hoped that the question had sounded purely theoretical, but this backfired on him when the professor asked if he was getting bullied by other Hufflepuffs because he was a Crowley and ‘supposed’ to be a Slytherin. Soon after several circular conversations where Crowley tried to reassure her that this was not the case, Crowley stalked out of the room. She had been getting frustrated, and Crowley didn’t want to upset his Professor on the first day of school. Crowley decided he wasn’t going to ask her again. 

At lunch, he sat with Zira and Newt, both of whom were engrossed in a discussion about possible uses for Spongify. Crowley didn’t pay much attention to it. He was much more interested in what was coming next. The next class of the day was Defense Against the Dark Arts and it was taught by the Head of Gryffindor house. Crowley wasn’t sure exactly what this class would entail, but he hoped that he’d have enough time between it and History of Magic to ask the Professor about changing houses. 

“Hey! Earth to Anthony!” Zira was waving a hand in his face. “We all have Defense Against the Dark Arts and History of Magic together again, so do you want to join us when we head there after lunch?” Crowley’s head was fuzzy for a second, he’d been so lost in thought that he’d completely tuned out Zira and Newt. 

“Uh-huh,” Crowley responded. Then the question finally processed. “Sure.” 

Crowley finished his food and found himself looking down and losing himself again. As his mind drifted off, his tie turned from yellow to green. 

Crowley drifted back to himself and began to hear the conversation about pets at Hogwarts. Zira was explaining that most kids picked owls because they were the most useful to Newt. Soon lunchtime ended, right as Zira savored the last bite of his food.   
The trio had no trouble finding the classroom this time. Out of the twenty kids in the class, seventeen made it to class on time this time, and the other three made it a couple of seconds later. Luckily for them, the teacher hadn’t arrived yet. The entire group of twenty students sat there and waited for the teacher. It was quiet in the room. 

BAM!

The door swung open as an older man with a scruffy white beard moved to the front of the classroom. 

“Now, you lot, in this classroom there will be no foolish pleasantries. You will call me Sergeant Shadwell, none of this here ‘Professor’ garbage. In this class, I’m gunna work to teach you how to fight the armies of darkness. May the armies of light march beside ye.” Sergeant Shadwell spoke with a heavy Scottish accent. He wasn’t wearing what could be considered normal wizards robes. His clothing was a mismatch of a military uniform and formalwear. He was covered in all sorts of odds and ends, including a bit of rope, a bell, and a set of what looked like matches.

Why he would need any of these things when he was a wizard was a question that many students had been trying to answer for years. No one could figure it out, least of all God herself. The closest anyone ever got was a second-year Gryffindor whose name was Carmine Zuigiber. She said it made him feel important. She would know. On the opposite hip of her wand, she wore a sword for some reason. 

“Now, when your name is called, raise ye hand. Gotta make sure I haven’t lost any of ye already.

“Private Anderson!”

“Here!” A boy behind Crowley said.

“I  _ said _ raise ye hand, boy! Do I need to repeat a direct order?”

“No,” Anderson said.

“‘No sir’ to you.”

“No, sir!” Anderson said. 

“That’s better, we’ll make soldiers out of you lot yet. Private Crowley!”

Crowley froze for a moment. Zira was on his right, he could figure out who he was! Crowley quickly decided to raise his left hand next to his head. Zira wouldn’t be able to see it from where he was sitting. Sergeant Shadwell nodded to him and Crowley put down his hand. Zira had been looking all over the room when Crowley was called out, but it seemed that he hadn’t seen Anthony, so that was a relief. 

“Private Fell!” Shadwell continued. Zira raised his hand. 

“Private Frith!” A girl to Crowley’s left put her hand in the air. She was sitting in a wheelchair and, although it was currently on the floor, Crowley could have sworn he saw it flying in the hallway earlier. 

Shadwell finished his roll not too soon afterward and began class. 

“In this class, I will teach you recruits how to fight against the armies of darkness. These include vampires, ghouls, yeti’s, basilisks, and the dreaded demons! None of these creatures are too hard to beat if you know how to hit ‘em. When facing a yeti, they’re terrified of the color green, so if ye manage to learn the color-changing spell from your charms Professor, you’ll be able to take one down easily.” Crowley doubted that. Zira did as well if the fact that he didn’t write anything down was proof of that. Even Newt seemed to doubt that. 

The girl with the last name Frith didn’t seem to either as she snorted at this advice. 

“Fat chance of that.” She muttered, too quiet for anyone to hear but Crowley. He smiled at her in agreement. She quickly looked down when she saw him looking at her. 

Shadwell continued on with his lesson. All in all, most of what he said was true, something that Crowley discovered when he fact-checked them in the textbook, but there were a few tips that seemed to be directly from him. Most of them were so ridiculous that no one believed him. 

“Once I exercised a demon from this earth by holding me fingers like this!” Shadwell held up his hand in a pointing symbol. This was going to be a long class with him as the teacher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING- If facing a vampire, ghoul, or any other dark creature, do NOT use Sergeant Shadwell’s personal fixes. Use strategies from your textbook that have already been confirmed to work for your own safety. 
> 
> You have no idea how hard it is to always remember to write ‘Anthony’ when talking about Crowley in Zira’s voice. Man it’s hard to remember. 
> 
> So now we have four teacher positions filled at Hogwarts. We have Professor Uriel, Sergeant Shadwell, Madame Tracy, and Metatron, as revealed previously. Who do you think will be the potions professor? Who knew Sergeant Shadwell was going to be the defense against the dark arts teacher? 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I had a blast writing it!!


	6. The First Flying Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zira is always the first to class, Professor Ligur may have a criminal record, and Crowley and Anathema talk Quidditch.

It had been two weeks and a day since the first day of class, and although Zira didn’t think he’d ever be able to say he knew  _ everything _ about Hogwarts, he was able to say that he felt very at home here. Despite easily being the slowest in the group of three, Zira hadn’t been late to a single class. It was the opposite in fact. He was early to every class and the castle seemed to help him on his way. Staircases moved to help him make it on time and paintings always opened to let him through. 

It was for that unknown reason that Zira was the first to arrive at the Herbology greenhouses. He sat down on one of the stools and took out his Transfiguration textbook. If he had ten minutes to kill he was going to try and finish the homework he’d already started. Madame Tracy was a fair teacher, but she did give more homework then Zira’d like. Though she was a Hogwarts teacher through and through, the Ravenclaw did have a penchant for muggle teacher ideas. Yesterday she got it in her head to have a vocabulary quiz. To prepare for it she transfigured some parchment into some index cards and made the whole class do vocab cards. Zira was going to ace the vocab quiz, but it was a bit odd to have one from a class at Hogwarts. 

He’d finished one of the cards when the door opened and in came Anthony. He was breathing heavily and there was sweat beading on his forehead. He was leaning against the door and slowly dropped to the floor. His head turned towards Zira and when he saw him he stood up quickly. 

“Ho-? Ther- bu- howdidyougetinfrontofme?” Anthony’s words all came out at once before he slouched down into the chair next to Zira. Anthony unscrewed the cap on his water bottle and gulped it. 

“Are you quite alright, my dear?” Zira had been trying out nicknames all week but had landed on this one when it had genuinely made Anthony laugh. Anthony’s breathing evened out. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, minus the part where I leave for class at the same time as you every day and can  _ never _ make it before you. How do you do it? Are there secret passages that I should know about or something?” 

“Now I’m sure there are passages, but I sure don’t know where they are. I haven’t the

foggiest how I’m faster than you. Sorry.” Zira had been trying to puzzle this out himself but had no idea how he did it. 

Next to enter the greenhouse was Professor Ligur. He nodded to the pair of Hufflepuffs before setting up his class materials. So far he’d been a fair teacher. He wasn’t particularly rude towards any one of the houses and he was fairly low energy. He would call you out if you did something wrong, but instead of taking away points, he’d ask someone in the class who knew what you did wrong to help you. His class wasn’t particularly engaging and, more often than not, Zira worked on other classes homework during it. 

The other students made their way in, and soon Professor Ligur began teaching. 

“Now, for the next two weeks, we’re going to be looking at the most dangerous plant on the first year Herbology list. This is, of course, Devil’s Snare. This is a plant that works hard to strangle and suffocate whoever touches it but don’t let that fool you, these things are huge softies. There are two spells you’ve already learned in your other classes that can easily scare this plant off. Those are Incendio and Lumos. You will surely learn more spells throughout your time here that can scare it. You see, Devil’s Snare is a plant native to Scotland, and it lives in dark and damp places, so light and fire are two things that terrify it. 

“Now don’t worry, you’re not going to be handling it quite yet. You are going to be doing a project on it in groups of two- wait don’t pick partners yet- calm down. Calm down!”

The class had started to look back and forth between each other and mutter questions of ‘would you please be my partner?’ in the hopes that they could snag someone who they knew or were friendly with. 

“So is anyone in this class unable to cast either of the two spells I just mentioned?” Two classmates raised their hands. “Come on, don’t be embarrassed, I can’t let any of you get strangled.” A few of the students laughed, but Zira was close enough to hear Professor Ligur say ‘again’ under his breath. One more raised their hand. “Okay, so you three. Take a good look at one another. You  _ cannot _ partner with one of them. Pick someone else.” Newt leaned over to Zira. 

“I’m glad I’m not one of them. Incendio is impossible to cast but at least I’ve got Lumos.” He said. Newt neglects to remember that he was the first to cast Lumos by a mile in Charms class. Professor Uriel had barely gotten the incantation out of her mouth before Newt’s wand was glowing. She had been shocked. Enough so to give twenty points to Hufflepuff. 

“Now go you rascals. Pick your partners and sit down together.”

The only one who seemed to pay full attention in Herbology was Anthony. Anthony was engrossed in the class and it was hard not to notice. He sat at the front of Herbology every Tuesday and Thursday. He was also Professor Ligur’s favorite. Anthony was always ready to answer questions and whenever the class took a hands-on approach with plants, Anthony’s plants always put everyone else’s to shame. 

It was for this reason that when Professor Ligur sent everyone out to pick a partner, not one, not two, not three, but four of the twenty Hufflepuff first-years bolted towards him in the hope that they could be partners. Before any of them could get a word out Anthony told them off. 

“Zira and I are already partners.” He said. The group of four turned away to find someone else to work with. Anthony turned to Zira. “If that’s alright with you, of course?” 

“F-fine!” Zira smiled at him. “Great actually!” 

“I just thought, you seem to do well with the books and writing, and I do well- with the plants- so it seemed perfect for us to work together on it.” Anthony was stuttering sort of.

“I already said it was great! Plus you seem pretty nice so it’ll be fun to work on it with you.” Anthony smiled at that.

“You think I’m nice, angel?” He asked with a laugh.

“Not if you’re gonna act like that! Maybe I’ll be better off with someone else.” Zira huffed jokingly. Anthony seemed to think he was serious and opened his mouth to say something before Zira started laughing.

After the class, Zira and Anthony went to the library and picked out a couple of books that mentioned Devil’s Snare before heading back to the Hufflepuff common room. They dropped off their stuff and began heading down to one of the Hogwarts courtyards. 

Today was their first flying class, and Zira was nervous he’d make a fool of himself during it. 

* * *

Crowley was more than ready for the flying class. He’d been riding a broomstick since he was seven and had a Nimbus 2000 at home. He named it Bentley, and would often do tricks in the yard while listening to music from his headphones. 

While walking to the courtyard, Crowley noticed that Zira was kinda quiet. It wasn’t that the boy was usually loud, but it was true that he usually tried to fill the silence with some form of conversation when walking places. Even Newt was quiet, Crowley noticed. That was when it all made sense. Newt had mentioned that he was nervous to fly earlier today since he’d never been on a broomstick. They were both nervous. Crowley smiled to himself as he hummed. This would be fun. 

The trio entered the courtyard and saw the set of bedraggled broomsticks laying out on the ground. Behind Crowley came a voice he recognized. 

“Anthony! You’re in this flying lesson too?” Anathema was behind the trio of Hufflepuffs. 

“Yeah, I guess we are,” Crowley said. He was happy to see her. The only other class that the pair shared was Potions. 

“Well let’s do this thing then!” She smiled and straightened her glasses. 

At the head of the two sets of broomsticks were two fourth-years. One was a Hufflepuff that Crowley recognized by his misnomer, Really Cool People. He belonged to a group called The ‘Other’ Four Horsemen. Why they called themselves the ‘Other’ Four Horsemen when there was that they had picked names that they thought would fit if there were four more horsemen of the apocalypse, but it sounded quite stupid. Really Cool People was also the Hufflepuff Quidditch captain despite only being in his fourth-year, which was pretty impressive. 

“Okay guys, quiet down. I’m Really Cool People, but you can call me Really Cool People. I’m the Hufflepuff Quidditch captain and I’m here to teach all you guys about flying. This here is my assistant, Embarrassing Personal Problems. He’ll probably have changed his name again by the time this class is over so don’t worry about remembering it too much. Now, we’re gonna split you into two groups. How many of you have flown before?”

Crowley raised his hand. Anathema and Zira did as well. Overall, more than three-quarters of the class raised their hands. Really Cool People considered this and then decided to make this a bit more clear. 

“How many of you fly  _ regularly _ , or have flown more than three times in the last couple of months?” He asked. 

About half of the people who had their hands raised before lowered them. That included Zira. Anathema’s hand was still in the air. 

“Okay. Those of you with your hands in the air, grab a broom and come with me, those of you who have your hands down, grab a broom and go with Embarrassing Personal Problems. He’s a better teacher.” Really Cool People led the group of first-years a little bit away. 

“So, since I’ve got the cool group now, I need to let you know that we’re gonna do some tricks and stuff and it’s gonna be kinda laid back in this class for you. Flying class is only for the first half of the year, and since most of you are fairly competent, I’m gonna work on some more interesting bits of flying. Also, we’re gonna watch the other group today because that’s gonna be hilarious. No offense to them, but watching people struggle to fly is just one of the funniest things ever, so we aren’t gonna pass that up. We’ll get around to working next week.” Really Cool People looked over at the other group, where Embarrassing Personal Problems was talking about proper broom safety. 

“Oh, it’s gonna be a while before he lets them take their feet off the ground. Are any of you looking to join the Quidditch teams next year?” He asked. 

Crowley and Anathema raised their hands along with most of this smaller group. 

“Oh sweet! I see some Hufflepuffs are gonna try out next year. That’s good, we’re kinda looking for some new people next year. No one's graduating, but overall our team this year is kinda meh. Don’t tell them I said that.” Really Cool People looked at the group. “So what position do you all play?” He pointed at the girl closest to him first. 

“I play Chaser.” She said.

“Sweet.” Really Cool People pointed to the boy on her left. 

“Keeper.” Said the Ravenclaw boy.

“Nice.” 

“Seeker.”

“Cool.”

“Keeper.” 

“You’re gonna be competing with me for the spot then.” Really Cool People nodded. “May the best Keeper win.” He pointed to the next person, who just so happened to be Anathema. 

“Beater.” She said. Now  _ that  _ surprised Crowley. 

“Really?” He said. 

“In a game where you can hit things at people you think I’d pick any other position?” Anathema asked. She straightened her glasses.

“Nice one! I like your style!” Really Cool People high-fived her. “What about you? What position do you play?” He turned to Crowley. 

“Chaser. I play Chaser.” Crowley said. Before the conversation could continue any further, Embarrassing Personal Problems gave the command for the other group to start flying. Some of them took to the air like ducks to water, and Crowley assumed they were muggle-borns who had never had the chance to fly before. The rest stumbled a bit more. Newt was shaking, but he wasn’t too bad. Crowley honestly thought with a couple more weeks of this he may become a good enough flyer to try out for the team. Zira on the other hand…

Zira was a mess. He was stumbling all over the place, and could barely get his feet off the ground. Crowley refused to laugh at him, but he did crack a smile.

“Alright, people show over. Really Cool People, you better start  _ actually _ teaching your group.” Embarrassing Personal Problems called at them. 

“Alright, you heard him. Let’s form up. Two lines!” Really Cool People said. 

When the class was over, Crowley headed downstairs as fast as he could. He enjoyed the flying class, but Potions was next. He wasn’t worried about being late, it was actually the opposite. He wanted to beat Zira there. Zira had been talking to Embarrassing Personal Problems at the end of class, so Crowley had decided to book it towards the dungeons. 

When he opened the door, he was shocked to find Zira already chatting with Professor Loquacious. How the heck does he do that?

The class wasn’t particularly interesting, and since Crowley had already determined that Professor Loquacious knew nothing on the subject of switching houses, Crowley once again booked it back to the Hufflepuff common room. It had sort of become a game to see if he could beat Zira anywhere, but this time it had stakes. There was a loveseat in one part of the Hufflepuff common room that Crowley adored. It was super comfortable, had a reading light attached, and had a perfect view of the stars under the greenhouse-style glass ceiling. 

Both he and Zira had gone back and forth with the seat. Crowley wasn’t sure if Zira had noticed that Crowley had turned it into a competition to see who could get the chair first. So Crowley tapped on the Hufflepuff entrance painting and ran over to see if it was taken. Once again, Zira had beat Crowley back. It was a mystery how he did this. 

“Ho-How?!” Crowley asked. Zira just shrugged. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Professor Ligur has actually had a student get strangled by the Devil’s Snare before. I’m gonna leave all the other details up to your imagination. 
> 
> Grammarly hates the word really, and wants Really Cool People to take it off the front of his name. I disagree. 
> 
> How Zira beats Crowley to class is something that’s really quite simple. Zira spends time to be nice to everyone. By everyone, I include the paintings, staircases, and doorways. Hallways and staircases move to get him to class on time, and paintings are more than happy to open for him. I actually believe that Zira could chat his way into the other three dorms if he so chooses. 
> 
> I actually wrote this chapter like half an hour before I posted it, which is very unlike my last five, which I wrote well before I posted them. This means I have no extra chapters sadly. Next week I’ll be able to post two again in all likelihood, but I leave to move into college on the 23rd so after next week I will post on Tuesdays. I will only post on Thursdays if I have extra chapters, because I’m not sure how much writing I’ll want to do when my first-year of college begins. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!!!


	7. Similar Futile Pursuits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although Zira and Crowley have the rest of the year it feels like time is running out to find a way into their proper houses.

Between homework, classes, and adjusting to life at Hogwarts, Zira hadn’t had much of a chance to check the library for information on switching houses. When it came down to it, Zira almost forgot that this was what he was meant to be doing until it was early October.

It was a lovely Wednesday by all accounts. Professor Uriel had given them a small homework assignment about the unlocking spell, Sargeant Shadwell had taught from the textbook, and Professor Metatron had taught some interesting bit of history about The Goblin Wars. 

It was a lovely Wednesday by all accounts, except for the letter that had been carried down from the skies at dinner.

It had been carried by a looming owl. He was dark grey and had eyes that looked like they’d just seen death. It was Zira’s father’s Stygian Owl. When it dropped the letter on the table in front of Zira, Zira had felt a sense of dread so palpable that it made him lose his appetite. Zira grabbed the letter and sat there, contemplating what was going to be in the letter. Zira moved to head up to the common room. Newt looked at him. 

“Are you alright there? You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.” He asked. 

“I’m fine, just think I have a stomach ache.” Zira lied. It made him feel bad to see the look of concern on Newt’s face. 

“Are you sure? If you need anything, just let me know,” he said. 

“I assure you. I’m perfectly well- just a small stomach ache.” Zira said. “I’ll see you guys later, okay?” Anthony nodded at him and Newt gave a smile. 

What made him feel even odder was the pair of eyes that he could feel watching him as he walked out The Great Hall. He knew they were coming from Anthony, but he couldn’t help but feel like they were coming from a snake instead. 

When Zira made it to the common room, it was empty save for a girl doing homework on the other side of the room. She was older than Zira, and he guessed she had Astronomy homework due tonight that she forgot. Maybe she just wasn’t hungry. Or maybe Zira needed to stop delaying the inevitable and open the letter that was burning a hole in his pocket. Zira sat in the loveseat by the fireplace that he loved to read in.

Taking a deep breath Zira opened the letter.

_ Dear Zira,  _

_ Hello! I hope Hogwarts has been treating you well in the last month! I hope your studies have been going well and that you’re making tons of good friends. You’re going to need them eventually.  _

_ Your mother and I have been traveling all over the place and have recently run into the Crowleys by accident. I had a duel with Hastur, and if it wasn’t for a particularly nasty move at the last minute, I would have won. That’s not to say  _ he  _ won, just that I was close to winning.  _

_ I’m sure you’ve seen the Crowley boy around. I’m sure he’s been gloating about my loss the Slytherin table and at your expense so I felt the need to clarify that Hastur didn’t win. Maybe you have had a duel with the Crowley boy already. I’m sure your Gryffindor friends had your back, just like your mom had mine during the duel.  _

_ There’s no need to write me back, just do me proud.  _

_ From,  _

_ Gabriel Fell _

Zira was confused for a couple of reasons. His father had dueled a Crowley and lost? That alone was unheard of. The second bit was more confusing. Zira hadn’t met the Crowley boy yet. Zira  _ knew _ he was one of the eleven first-year Hufflepuff boys, this number was excluding himself of course, from hearsay and Sergeant Shadwell calling out Crowley in the first class! He wondered if he should tell his father that the boy had been sorted into Hufflepuff. The only problem with this is that it was sure to have a response about how disgraceful for the Crowleys and great for the Fells that was. It would make Zira feel terrible about his failure to get into Gryffindor.

Zira considered this option for a couple more seconds before realizing that he genuinely liked all the boys in his year. He would be getting one of them in trouble probably. There was no way that his dad wouldn’t be shoving that in Hastur Crowley’s face. Zira decided to leave the letter as it was. He would be sure to spend some time in the library looking tomorrow for info on switching houses. He’d eventually find something. He had to. 

* * *

A couple of minutes after Zira left Newt followed and Crowley was left alone at the table. He sipped his water for a second. Surely there was something that was bothering Zira. Crowley prided himself on his fairly inscrutable face, but Zira’s was like an open book. He was worried about something, something that came from that letter. 

It didn’t take a genius to figure out the letter was from his family. Zira didn’t own an owl but recognized it right away, enough to grab the letter from the bird before it had even landed. It didn’t take much more for Crowley to assume Zira was worried that they knew he was a Hufflepuff. 

The two of them were in the same boat, as much as Crowley was loathed to admit it. With that topic in mind, Crowley took out a scrap of paper from his robes. It was a list of the professors’ names. He’d been crossing them off as soon as he’d had a chance to talk with them and find out they didn’t know how to change houses. Crowley crossed off Professor Shadwell. It was the last one. None of the teachers knew how to. 

A sigh escaped Crowley’s lips. He was certain the Headmistress knew how to, but she still wasn’t around. There had to be an escape from staying in Hufflepuff. He’d eventually find something. He had to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit shorter than the others have been so far and I apologize for that, but I do promise the next one will be worth your while! 
> 
> Next time! Zira and Crowley have a score to settle! A challenge is issued and the stakes are high! Who will win the best chair in the Hufflepuff common room and who will go home empty-handed?


	8. Crowley's Contest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Zira have a score to settle, so Crowley says. Zira has no idea what Crowley's talking about.

It was late Friday evening and Zira was at the top of the Astronomy Tower alongside a few fellow Hufflepuffs. It was a quiet night. Most of the older students were out late at the Halloween themed party in Hogsmeade, even though Halloween was still a week away, and Astronomy was going to start in ten minutes, so Zira checked the lens on the telescope nearest to him. He could see clearly into the night sky. The stars were beautiful tonight. Even if Zira couldn’t even tell them apart to save his life, he could appreciate them. 

Zira felt a light tapping on his left shoulder which startled him quite abruptly. Zira jumped and hit his head on the base of the telescope before he turned and saw Anthony, who was smirking at his little mishap. 

“Hello angel,” Anthony began. “We’re currently on top of the Astronomy Tower, the time is currently 9:37 P.M. and Professor Sandalphon will be here in 8 minutes. I’d say this is the perfect time to issue a challenge. We’ve got a score to settle.” Zira was a bit confused.

“What kind of challenge?” Zira asked. “What score?” 

* * *

“Well, we’ve been racing to classes, haven’t we been?” Crowley asked. This would be embarrassing if Zira said no. 

“Not that I’ve been aware of, my dear,” Zira said. Crowley felt like following Zira’s lead and hitting his head on the telescope. 

“Well, I have been,” Crowley said. 

“Oh? What’s the score?” Zira asked.  _ Well, it’s currently 30-1, by my count.  _ Crowley thought miserably. 

“It’s about fifty-fifty,” Crowley said vaguely. 

“What is it exactly?” Zira asked.

“I wouldn’t worry about it.” 

“What is it?”

“I’ve forgotten it.” 

“You can tell me,” Zira said. 

“Oh, would you look at that, we’re gonna run out of time and I need to explain the challenge rules.” Crowley covered up. Zira’s face said he wasn’t going to let this go, though.

* * *

“Fine. What are the rules?” Zira asked. Anthony’s face lit up.

“It’s simple. We’re on top of the Astronomy Tower. This means that we’re the furthest from our common room. The hallways are mostly empty because of the Hogsmeade trip. First back to the common room wins.” Anthony said. 

“What does that person win?” Zira asked. 

“Whoever wins gets access to the perfect reading and stargazing chair in the Hufflepuff common room for a month,” Anthony said. Zira considered this for a moment. When was the last time he’d seen Anthony in that chair? 

* * *

Zira smiled. He was the picture of innocence, so why does Crowley feel like Zira knows something that he doesn’t? 

“While that is most certainly a lovely prize for yourself, I believe that I beat you to the common room most days anyway and that your account of the current race score is false. What is in it for  _ me _ if I win this race?” Zira asked this as though he was asking for Crowley to pass the salt. Zira smiled again. 

“N… Uhhh, let’s see…” Crowley could barely manage thinking, let alone speaking. What was something Zira would want from him? Zira was bookish and got great grades. He liked food, but not enough to give away the chair for a full month. While Crowley enjoyed stargazing in the chair, he’d never seen Zira do that for more than a couple of seconds. For some reason, Crowley didn’t think Zira did too well in Astronomy. Crowley did great in Astronomy. “I could help you get better grades in Astronomy?” He offered.

“That’s a bit too vague, maybe something else,” Zira said.  _ Bastard _ Crowley thought. He needed something else that he was good at that Zira was not! Transfi- no. Zira was the best at charms. Potions were a breeze for him. History of Magic was boring. There had to be something!

* * *

Anthony was floundering for an idea. Zira wasn’t sure what he’d hoped to get out of him, but this seemed like a bet stacked in Anthony’s favor so far. Anthony had known ahead of time about the race and wanted the chair without knowing what to give Zira. Anthony’s eyes lit up and he opened his mouth. 

“Oh, I’ve got the perfect thing angel. How ‘bout if you win, I’ll teach you to fly on a broomstick?” Anthony offered. Now Anthony was the one that smiled. Zira’s cheeks flushed. 

Flying was honestly the worst thing about school. Zira had assumed with a better teacher than his father, he’d be able to pick it up, but he was wrong on both counts. Embarrassing Personal Problems was debatably a worse teacher than Gabriel Fell had been and Zira was barely able to get a couple of feet off the ground without forcing himself onto the ground or falling. Anthony, on the other hand, was the image of grace on his broomstick. 

“Fine,” Zira said. Anthony’s smile was crooked and he held out his hand. 

“So if you win, I’ll give you flying lessons and if I win you’ll give me the chair for a month. Shake on it angel.” He said. Zira shook on it. Why did it feel like he was missing something obvious?

* * *

Throughout class Crowley tapped his foot on the cobblestone floor beneath his feet. Even looking up at the stars wasn’t calming to him. Professor Sandalphon was walking around and teaching about galaxies. This astronomy class was very rudimentary for Crowley. He had been passing it with barely any effort. He’d been learning about the stars from books since he was a little boy, so in this class, he just looked at the stars and relaxed.

On the opposite side of the same coin was Herbology. Herbology was a new interest for Crowley, so he didn’t know a whole lot about it. Since he didn’t know much, he paid full attention in class so that he could absorb everything he could learn about it. Crowley was currently doing much better in Astronomy, but Herbology was his favorite class. 

There were five minutes left in class. Crowley packed up his notes and quills as quietly as possible, then he raised his hand. Professor Sandalphon walked over to him.

“Professor, may I please use the restroom?” Crowley asked. 

“There are only a couple minutes left in class, can’t you wait it out?” Crowley forgot that Professor Sandalphon was one of  _ those _ professors and quickly came up with a response. 

“I think I had something bad at dinner and feel a bit queasy,” Crowley said to him quietly. 

“Fine. Off you go. Get the homework from someone else.” Professor Sandalphon went on teaching. 

* * *

Anthony had left the class and Zira wondered if the race was off. He said he was feeling sick. Zira had barely been able to focus on Astronomy and considering it was his weakest class, he really should be paying more attention. It took another thirty seconds for Zira to notice what had happened. Zira’s face went white. 

_ The little demon. _ Zira thought frantically as he moved to pack up his items. Professor Sandalphon noticed him. 

“Where do you think you’re going, Fell?” He asked. 

Professor Sandalphon hadn’t been particularly fond of Zira. Zira was a Fell and a Hufflepuff, which was a precarious situation on both fronts. Him being a Fell meant that many of the Professors, who were mostly Gryffindor or Slytherin, were either friends or enemies of his father. Uriel was an enemy, but fair when dealing with Zira because he’s not his father. Ligur was sort of indifferent even though he’s a Slytherin. Sandalphon was a friend. Out of these three, Sandalphon was the meanest to Zira, and this was because Zira is a Hufflepuff. Zira was lucky Sandalphon hadn’t told Gabriel he was in Hufflepuff. 

“I’m feeling a bit ill, I think Anthony and I had the same things to eat.” He said. 

“Sit here and wait it out.” Sandalphon sneered. One thing Sandalphon wasn’t immune to was disgust. Zira frantically got up from his seat and gave a couple of small fake gags. 

“I- I think I’m gonna throw up,” Zira said. Professor Sandalphon practically ran to get out of the way. 

“Well then head to the infirmary quickly!” He said. Zira grabbed his bag and ran down the stairs into the castle. 

* * *

Crowley had gained what he hoped would be a couple of minute lead on Zira. He had been running down hallways and staircases as fast as possible. He ran past a painting of a famous historical figure. 

“HEY!” The picture shouted. “No running in the hallways!” Crowley kept on running. He ran past a suit of armor, who reached out to grab him. Crowley dodged at the last second. 

Crowley reached the main staircase and began what he assumed would be a slow descent towards the bottom. Crowley was under the impression that the staircases didn’t like him. He was right. 

The staircases seemed to be in a fickle mood tonight. They didn’t go anywhere near the direction he wanted them to. 

“C'mon c'mon c’mon.” Crowley urged them. The staircases took no heed of him. “I need to beat Zira to the common room, hurry you, idiots!” He commanded. If possible the stairs moved even slower. Above him, he heard the clattering of another pair of feet on the stone tiled floors. 

* * *

Zira’s feet screeched across the tiles. He had to win this race. He ran down the staircase and could see Anthony below him. The staircase moved Zira towards a hallway that Zira recognized as a shortcut that let out a bit below where Anthony. Anthony noticed that Zira was about to be given a huge advantage. 

“C’mon!” He shouted upwards. “That’s just not fair!” 

“You cheated!” Zira called back. 

“It’s not cheating if there weren’t any rules!” Anthony said. He flashed a smile and a wave up at Zira. Zira took off when the staircase connected with solid ground. Down the hallway, he went. For some reason, this particular hallway ended two floors down from where it started. Zira would soon be in the lead. 

“Thank you,” Zira called back to the staircase. 

* * *

How the  _ hell _ was Crowley going to stop Zira from getting ahead of him? He had a few ideas for that. Crowley’s staircase was slowly approaching the next landing. This was still one above where Zira would come out from the shortcut hallway. The doorway seemed to be mocking him. 

Oh!  _ That’s  _ how he’d do it!

“Colloportus!” Crowley waved his wand at the doorway, which quickly locked. The staircase he was on connected with the next staircase. Crowley ran down it, nearing the doorway that Zira was locked behind. 

“HEY!” Crowley could only assume the muffled yelling was coming from Zira behind the door. Crowley paid no mind as he sprinted down the next staircase. He only had to make it down three more! He could win this. 

* * *

There was a door between Zira and the only way to the Hufflepuff common room that would not open. There was no way he’d be able to win this race if Anthony kept him here. Surely there was a way out of here? A spell perhaps?

OH! Zira suddenly remembered learning something that was suited for this. 

“Alohomora!” Zira said. The doorway unlocked, letting Zira out three floors above the common room, and one above Anthony. Now to slow him down. 

There had to be something they’d learned. He remembered Charms class with Professor Uriel suddenly. Zira pointed his wand at Anthony. 

“Fumos!” Zira called.

* * *

Crowley turned towards Zira, just in time to see the smile on his face before his vision went dark. The Smokescreen spell! Why hadn’t he thought of that? Crowley could barely see the floor in front of him, let alone where he was heading. Panic began to set in. What if he fell off the moving staircase? He needed to see. He needed to see. 

“Lumos.” Crowley cast the spell, which lit up his wand. It couldn’t help him see through the fog, but it was a start. Crowley slowed down even though he could hear Zira rushing around him. He wasn’t going to let his pride cost him a fall down the tower.

Crowley maneuvered through the fog and to the top of a staircase that he knew would take him right above the common room. Now Crowley could see. He was out of the fog.

* * *

Zira hadn’t thought too far ahead when he made the fog. Now he was forced to find his way through a trap of his creation. He could barely see his feet, but he wouldn’t lose this race! Zira moved quickly and nearly ran into several walls. Crowley had to be on the floor the common room was on now! He had to be! Zira moved a bit faster. Zira felt his feet on the floor and then that feeling was gone. 

Zira’s heart plummeted. His body was falling through the open air. This may be his last moment. 

A scream bursts from his lungs. 

* * *

Crowley was almost to the common room when he heard it. The scream of Zira above him. He looked up and saw him falling to the ground right in front of him. Time seemed to stand still. Crowley reached out his wand and pointed it at the floor.

“Spongify!” Crowley called. 

The floor on which Zira was set to fall became a spongy texture that softened his fall immensely. Zira’s eyes were closed. He whimpered. Crowley raced over to his friend and leaned down to check if he was okay. Zira’s eyes opened. Crowley reached out a hand to help him to his feet. 

“Are you okay?” Crowley asked. Zira let out a few shaky breaths. 

“I’m okay, my dear,” Zira said. Crowley’s pulse slowed when Zira began to walk to the common room next to him. The painting opened and Zira stepped into the common room. He was still shaking. The starts of a smile played on his lips. 

“I guess I won,” Zira said. Crowley’s throat tightened. 

“Yeah. I guess you did.” Crowley responded. His friend was okay. That was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO! TODAY’S BEEN A HELL OF A DAY. This chapter was not supposed to be this long. It also wasn’t supposed to end with Zira almost dying, so there’s that. I saw my best friend for the first time in months, am moving into college tomorrow, talked with my other best friend about LGBTQ stuff, and life, and Doctor Who, and came out to my mom as bi today. That went pretty well but my hands are still shaking! 
> 
> Do any of you all watch Brooklyn 99? Any crazy things happening to you all? What did you think of Crowley’s Contest? How’s your day going?


End file.
